A Chance for Charity (The Immortal Ones) Read online

  chapter three

  PAIN… JUST AN ILLUSION

 

  The next day, I was still sulking. I hated the thought of disappointing my family. It was an accident, and in the end both Catherine and James had said they understood and forgave me. But I was finding it difficult to forgive myself. I couldn’t bring myself to leave my room until after she had departed, ashamed to face the woman who had become a mother to me. They were leaving shortly, on their way to a picnic lunch by the river.

  After emerging from my self-imposed quarantine, I decided a soak in our spa might relax me and get my mind off the previous day’s events. I changed into my black one-piece and headed to the lower level. Once inside the spa room, I laid my towel on one of the couches and set my robe on a hook. After turning the CD player on and the music up, loud enough to drown my thoughts, I walked over to the glass wall that faced the mountain.

  I looked out at the mountainside, to the area where I had taken my tumble the day before. I rested my forehead on the glass and closed my eyes, remembering the feel of his hands on my battered foot. I pictured that dazzling smile and again tried to remember where I had seen it before. I breathed out deeply, my hot breath clouding the glass. It was getting pretty cold outside now that it was the middle of November. I walked away from the glass wall and over to the control panel, turned on the jets, and entered the spa.

  Our spa was something to be envied, a luxury that I was glad the architect had seen fit to include in the plans for this house. It was sizeable. Some would classify it as a small pool. The massaging jets and the bubbling water let me think of it only as a spa. The water was half indoors and half outdoors. A quick swim through a small opening underwater led me out into the fresh air. There was steam rising from the surface, where the warmth of the water mixed with the cool mountain air. I inhaled deeply and rested my head on the side of the decking, with only my face out of the water. The rest of my body I kept fully submerged in the warm bubbling liquid.

  I closed my eyes and listened to the music, losing myself in the rhythm. Something about this song resonated within me. The line about pain being an illusion really hit home. This was my ultimate truth. I could no longer feel pain the way others did. Physical pain, my body took care of, and mental anguish could be easily blocked out. I had adapted to erase it, even as I watched my bones break and my body bleed. I knew that even when these things happened to me, the next day little to no evidence could be found to support it. It was just an illusion.

  My thoughts turned to the past, to my first love. Roger was so handsome in his naval uniform. I could picture him so clearly in my mind, then he was gone, another illusion. I opened my eyes as the song ended and the next one began.

  “How are you feeling today?”

  “Aaah!” I gave a little startled scream.

  “Sorry, I tried the door but nobody answered. Then I heard music coming from around the side of the house. So, I used my awesome powers of deduction and here I am. I didn’t mean to scare you. You were lost in the song. You didn’t hear me. Excellent singing voice by the way,” Link said.

  Then had the nerve to smile at me from the chair where he sat creepily watching me.

  “Those powers of yours are no good. Maybe you should deduce that I want to be alone,” I grumbled. Stop smiling at me.

  “Being alone didn’t work so well for you yesterday. What if you were to, say... hit your head and slip into the water? There would be nobody here to help you.”

  “I’m fine. Why are you here?” I asked.

  “I came to give you this,” explained as he held out my jacket, “and to find out how you are doing, to make sure you are okay.”

  “I told you, I’m fine. Really. See.” I held my foot up out of the water without thinking.

  His eyes locked on the now faint yellowish remains of the deep purple bruises he’d witnessed less than twenty-four hours before. I saw the confusion in his eyes and swiftly submerged my foot, removing it from his eyesight.

  “I’m a fast healer,” I offered before he had a chance to ask any questions.

  “I’ll say. My powers pale in comparison.”

  “It wasn’t nearly as bad as it looked.”

  “Apparently.” Link looked at me, stunned.

  “Wait here,” I said and then I ducked underwater and swam back to the other side.

  He watched through the glass as I climbed out of the water and picked up my towel. I held my finger up, to tell him to give me a minute, and then I dried off. I removed my long fluffy robe from its hook, put it on, and went out the door to the patio where he still sat in stunned silence.

  “Sorry, I’m not being very grateful. I really appreciate you helping me make it home safely last night, and for finding my jacket,” I thanked him as I sat down in the cushioned chair beside him.

  He reached for my foot and slowly traced his index finger around the edges of the now barely discernible bruise. What could I say? How could I answer his unasked question? I pulled my foot from his grasp and tucked it under me, to remove it from his sight. We sat in silence, looking at each other, his eyes full of questions, mine full of uncertainty.

  “This is a big, fancy house for a small town doctor. Aren’t doctors supposed to be broke when they start out? What is your uncle, like thirty-one or thirty-two?”

  “Ja – Jason has family money and he’s twenty-nine. Not that any of this is your business.” I quipped.

  “How large is this house?” Link continued, ignoring my tone.

  “About eight thousand square feet,” I answered.

  “Six, seven mill?”

  “Closer to nine.” I don’t know why I so casually answered his questions. I just saw no reason to pretend. Anyone with a computer could find the answers so I gave them readily.

  “These are mostly vacation homes for the uber rich. Anyone else out here live year round?” It was less of a direct question and more just his wondering aloud.

  “A few.” I had no idea what he was trying to figure out with his questions, or if he was simply curious. “I imagine that by this time next month this whole town will be transformed. I’ve heard it’s a revolving door of people during the ski season.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I hear too. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. I’ve been here once before, but that was years ago, when I was like... fourteen I think.”

  “So you’re a ski-bum. You move around from town to town and just ski,” I stated.

  “Not a ski-bum, just in need of a change. I received an inheritance and decided to travel and ski for a few years. I work, at the hardware store, because I can’t imagine not being a ‘productive member of society.’ My grandfather drilled that into my head from a very young age,” Link’s eyes became distant.

  “Is he gone?”

  “Grandpa? Yeah, two years now. Mom and Dad died in a crash when I was ten so Grandma and Grandpa raised me. They really did a great job of getting me through that tough time. Then the month after I finished high school, Grandma died. Grandpa was never the same after she passed. He couldn’t seem to live without her. He died twenty months later. So I guess that makes me an orphan now, alone in the world. I miss them terribly, Grandpa the most. Feel sorry for me yet?” He put on a façade of a smile.

  “My parents passed away a long time ago too, but Aunt Rachel and Uncle Jason gave me a home. I’m lucky to have them, just as you were lucky to have your grandparents.” I paused, reflecting on our similarities. “I’m sorry they are gone. Is there no one else out there for you?”

  “Not family. I ruined a few friendships after Grandpa died. I wouldn’t accept anyone’s help and, in the end, alienated some good people. I’m doing better now. Time heals all wounds, or so they say.”

  “Some wounds run deeper than others,” I trailed off.

  I had my own gaping wound that I had never allowed to mend. My heart, once full of love, had been ravaged and torn into a million pieces. It was the one wound I could control. Once, stupidly and sen
selessly, when I felt unable to deal with my loss, I had cut myself in an attempt to end my pain. Those wounds had healed within minutes, without my control, no evidence remained of my trauma. But the loss of Roger, and the wound from that loss, was mine. If I let it heal would there be any trace of him left. I was unmoved in my irrational need to cling to my sorrow. Would my mind erase the memories of Roger, as my body had erased my scars?

  Catherine had tried so hard to get me to understand the importance of letting myself heal. She had lost her family, long before we had met. She eventually let go of her sorrow and love had blossomed again, in James. But finding James was a fluke, finding me was a fluke. I never wanted to love again. I wasn’t sure I could mentally recover from another loss. Once was more than I seemed able to bear and time would eventually take everyone away from me, except Catherine and James.

  “Where did you go?” Link’s voice roused me from the past.

  I had let my mind wander. It was too much. I put my façade up again and blocked out the emotions.

  “I was just thinking about love and loss. It’s a hard thing to live through... losing the ones you love,” I mused.

  “How old are you, high school girl?” he asked softly.

  “Seventeen. But today, I feel vastly older.”

  “Sorry, did I start this depressing conversation? That’s no good. I’ll have to fix that. We should get our minds on something else. Laughter is the best medicine right? How about you and I go to the theater and watch the new comedy that opened? No funny business, just friends,” Link paused, “Can a twenty-two year old guy be friends with a seventeen year old girl?” he asked.

  “Almost eighteen,” I interjected. “I really have no idea why I’m doing this, I barely know you, but sure, I’d like that. Why did I just say yes to that?” I truly sounded puzzled by my own decision.

  “It’s my powers,” he teased.

  “Your awesome powers,” I corrected. “Come inside and wait in the kitchen while I change.”

  I led him to the kitchen and ordered him to sit at the counter. I pushed a can of soda and a bag of chips in front of him. “Stay here,” I commanded as I dropped the television remote in his hand.

  “Yes ma’am,” he saluted me with a flash of that brilliant smile.

  I paused, as a moment of déjà vu washed over me, then shook my head.

  I ran upstairs and locked the door to my suite of rooms, a girl can never be too careful. I jumped in the shower for a world record attempt at speed washing. Then I dried off, dressed in jeans and a sweater, applied my make-up, and blew dry my hair all in record time. I ran downstairs to find Link right where I’d left him, channel surfing.

  “That wasn’t too long was it?” I asked, slightly out of breath.

  “For a girl, that was astounding.”

  “I’d look better if I’d taken longer.”

  “You look fine, let’s go. I checked movie times while you were upstairs and the next one starts in forty minutes or so. Together or separate?” Link questioned me, raising his key ring into the air and giving it a jingle.

  “Separate. I’ll stop by A Step in Time after the movie’s over. My Aunt Rachel was headed there after she and Jason finished lunch,” I answered, mentally reviewing my words, hoping I had said the correct names.

  We exited the side door, out to the driveway, and walked over to our nearly identical SUVs. They were the same make, model, and color, but mine had the newer body style. The differences were only subtle changes.

  “Weird... Great minds and all.” I smiled. “I’m going to park by the boutique and then walk over to the theater, okay?”

  “I’ll do the same then.” He smiled back and again I was struck by that strangely familiar curve of his mouth.

  During the twenty-minute drive from Mountain Village into the town of Telluride, I tried to figure out what had just happened. I allowed a young man, one I had just recently met, to come into my home. And now I was accompanying him to the movies. This wasn’t me. I didn’t do these things. I kept people at a safe distance. I flashed a fake smile and did group activities. This wasn’t safe... was it?

  Friends. I concentrated on the word. He had said friends. I could be friends with another lost soul. I could be friends with someone who had experienced similar heartache. I could be friends with Lincoln Knight. Couldn’t I?

  We parked our twin vehicles, one in front of the other, on Colorado Avenue and walked to the theater. I pulled out my cell and sent a text to both James’s and Catherine’s phones, to let them know what I was doing.

  “Letting your Aunt and Uncle know where you are?” Link asked casually.

  “Yeah, when they see my SUV in front of the boutique they’ll wonder where I am.”

  “It’s nice to have someone to worry about you.”

  “I guess it is,” I agreed.

  When the movie was over, Link and I stopped for a coffee and a hot cocoa at the little innuendo-named bookstore. We had an easy banter with each other, and kept the conversation centered on the movie, staying away from anything personal.

  Afterwards, I headed straight to A Step in Time.

  “Aunt Rachel,” I called out as I used my key to enter the boutique. It was a Sunday evening, we were closed, so I was pretty sure she’d be alone. She liked to go in when James was working. “Catherine,” I called out next when I didn’t hear a response.

  I went into the back room to find her intently bent over her drawing pad. Her chalks and pencils were scattered across the table. She was so absolutely absorbed in her drawing that she didn’t hear me enter.

  “Well who are you today? I tried both Rachel and Catherine and didn’t get a response to either,” I teased.

  “Still Rachel, always Catherine.” She smiled at me. “So, I got your message. Sorry I didn’t send one back, you know how I hate texting and email. It’s such an impersonal way to communicate. Cell phones I can deal with, so I can hear your voice and judge your temperament. I was just leaving James when our phones went off. He said that Lincoln gave an excellent first impression. Did you have a good time?”

  “The movie was good, not as funny as I’d hoped. I just don’t get comedy these days,” I confessed. “It’s strange, Catherine, there is something so familiar about Link. It is easy to be around him. He is irritating and calming all at the same time. Is that weird?”

  “Not weird,” she answered. “James irritates me and calms me on a daily basis.”

  “Friends, we are going to be friends, Catherine,” I stressed the words to her.

  “That’s all you should be dear, you just met the boy.” Catherine smiled.

  “The twenty-two year old boy,” I stated.

  “That’s still a boy to you and me,” she replied.

  “Yes, you are right about that,” I agreed.

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